Bad night lastnight

Hade A bad night lastnight my siatica fleared up and i didn't sleep One of the worst nights i have had in ages, I didn't feel so good today.
And yesterday i was trying to find this song i reambered i use to hear it on the bus when i lived in Newcastle i loved this song and the song by coldplay clocks.
The song popped into my head tonight when i had a salt bath i thought yes that's the song.
I love newcastle i miss that place the beautiful beachs the fun i hade and i meet two soul sisters Annette who was my twin sister in a past life in romania we also had a life as fairys.
And julie who in a past life was my father in one life i miss my friend julie she helped me so much my cat gypsy brout us togeather that cat was so specheal to me, she helped me when i was in one of my most dark places she would hit me on the nose to get up lol lol lol i loved her so much   

I also tonight chated with god i said come on big guy give me truth and nothing but the truth where is my twin flame is he here or on anouther planet is he across the veil, just give me the truth .
But i also want to give you this because it just making me so confused and is messing up my head and triggering me, did i get it all wrong and thought it was a person who looked like him like in that movie with branden frazer bedazzaled they say there is two of us maybe this is where i got it wrong.
I said comeone i'm a big girl give me the truth i'm just so tired of this crap.
Then after i blanced my charkras with the penjulam. I looked on utube for some soft relaxing music and come across. The twin flames united sound.  

The sound made me relaxed and made me think of rolling waves like the ocean, i could see fish turtels, and dolfins seaweed moving with the eab and flow of the waves then i saw myself in outerspace and moving towards Siruis i saw a bright blue star it was beautiful my feet landed on the ground and there he was to great me a tall lean figure like how i drew him only not a human pysical form only an energy form.
I heard do look for feachers feel his energy his energy reminded me of the soft waves of the sea clam, gental quite but strong silent and wise, I could feel the beautfule blue energy pacent. But when i look at his energy i see bright golden yellow like a flickering flame of a candel.
This instantly made me feel realxed happy and calm.
I had a feeling he was not on earth Here i was looking for this soul for years and he was cheering for me on the outerveil.
Am I sad No not at all, every time i lisen to this music i can visit him or him me i feelt a sense of peace and home coming warmth frienship and love.
I also thanked god for showing me the truth...... And now i can give thsi worry to god now.
and finally let it be ..... I don't have to serch any more he is always with me.
Know wonder my guides tolled me i was never alone.
I just picked up a beautiful blue butterfly.... This is his symbol for me or a blue Dragonfly.
Or if i burn a candel and look at the falme it will remind me of him.
Maybe that's why i want to see a dolfin to connected to my home planet.
Siruis come up in my acashic reading but in a dream i was also showen Andromada.
I feel sudenly at peace now like a wait has liffted my shoulders.
Lol lol lol he's not here ..........
I don't know why i feelt he was this other person maybe they just look alike hummm 
Oh well all those;s girls can fight and have him now I know the truth.
Stupid girl i am lol lol lol wouldnt hade looked twice at me like one of his Exs said i would be to fat and uygly not his type lol lol lol it wasnt even him just looked like him.
Anyway i know ill sleep better tonight i feel a sence of peace.
No more surching no more looking My big Blue angel is on Siruis and i can visit him in meditashion i can hold his hand and talk with him when ever now .
I wanted to know why ...... now i know why.
Anyways i feels good after my salt bath and charkra balance just got to get my leg to setal down.