I don't hate I'm so confused im fighting with my emoshions and thoughts its making me feel sick i started crying again this afternoon i wanted to be sick my heart hurts .... I'm talking to a man online hes nice but i'm so unshore and its scarrying me i can't tell if its my big blue angel I'm so deeply in love with my twin the thought of anouther wanting to touch me or have me in a pyshical way makes me want to pyshically be voilently ill like i wont to Vomite .
My heart hurts so much i try to toune into the energy but its so much softer it dosnt feel like him.
And I'm scared to move forward i feel like I'm betraying him.
I just can't its to hard .... I don't feel a connection to this man i just wanted to be friends.
I know a connection when i feel it.
Theres a real uneasy feel and i don't know why......
I didnt sleep latnight i just cryed and cryed and cryed.
I don't want to watch Taort readings because they make me more confused.
I'm stuck and don't know what to do.
I'm scarred, My guides keep telling me its ok your safe no one can touch you unless you allow it.
What do i do when my twin is the only one i can think of.
I need the connection ...... its so hard.
I think i need to meditate and do a charkra blance and have a talk to my guides and angels and mother/father god on this one.
I don't hate my twin I never will he hade to do what was right for him i love him beonde words
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I don't blame him i don't hate him i whish him nothing but the best in life i don't want him to think im selfish iver he hade to do what he hade to do for himself and my Twin i apoligise for any hurt i may have caused you,
I don't regreat my life it is what it is i just want to help as many people as i can, I don't know what it is i;m so turned off my food at the moment and been getting heart polpatashions i think its just tiredness.
I whish i could take you to my tree danny hes so beautiful i sat under Merlock today.
a beautiful big Oak tree so lovleyone day ill get a nice branch and make a wand.
Ohh i so love crystals they are shuch happy babies
I don't regreat my life it is what it is i just want to help as many people as i can, I don't know what it is i;m so turned off my food at the moment and been getting heart polpatashions i think its just tiredness.
I whish i could take you to my tree danny hes so beautiful i sat under Merlock today.
a beautiful big Oak tree so lovleyone day ill get a nice branch and make a wand.
Ohh i so love crystals they are shuch happy babies
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The day i looked into your eyes i saw me i saw your wounds
I saw your beauty your soft heart bleedying inside to be
Understood
You where a mistry i wanted to unravel, with your many layers and twists.
a complex soul who changed to fit it, you bured yourself deep inside.
the more you meet the more pieces of you was broken off.
one by one they stepped up to eat of your plate.
But you hade no idear how to stop, stop the numbeness you where
feeling inside you just wanted to feel.
Feel houl to be accepted to be loved.
Your heart yearned for it but every touch you feelt was like a sneeky thief.
wanting to taste you to incase you to hold your soul.
To feel your light you shone brighter then you even relised.
The people you meet took you for granted wanted to use you.
And every woman used you and tell a story of what they beheld.
The more this happened the more it dimed your light.
You just wanted to be loved and exceepted.
some people wanted to buy you some thought they could sell you.
Bottel your essence just to keep a part of you for themselves.
Till the time came enought was enought.
You just dissapeared with out warning like a ship in the night.
A new day hade dawned for you my sweet ray of light.
the last word i heard from you in my dream was
i will come back for you, i still hear your words.
and hope in my heart stayed there.
like a stone it stayed unturned.
I couldnt look at anouther when all i hade was deep love for you.
I never meet anouther with the conneshion i feelt for you.
I feel you in my dreams you talk to me and hold me near.
The thought of even looking at anouther only brings me tears.
It just feels so wrong when what i feelt already feelt so right.
so much i wanted to shair with you my dreams my thoughts
and a cuddel warm and tight.
But now i only have memories and visits of you in dreams
You'll always stay closely tucked in my heart where i feel your warmth
and haunty me for all my days untill its my time
then we will meet again like you promised you would
come for me and we will walk in the wood.
walk in the oceane and play in the sand
both back togeather from which we booth stand
a spark of the devine gods leading hand
I saw your beauty your soft heart bleedying inside to be
Understood
You where a mistry i wanted to unravel, with your many layers and twists.
a complex soul who changed to fit it, you bured yourself deep inside.
the more you meet the more pieces of you was broken off.
one by one they stepped up to eat of your plate.
But you hade no idear how to stop, stop the numbeness you where
feeling inside you just wanted to feel.
Feel houl to be accepted to be loved.
Your heart yearned for it but every touch you feelt was like a sneeky thief.
wanting to taste you to incase you to hold your soul.
To feel your light you shone brighter then you even relised.
The people you meet took you for granted wanted to use you.
And every woman used you and tell a story of what they beheld.
The more this happened the more it dimed your light.
You just wanted to be loved and exceepted.
some people wanted to buy you some thought they could sell you.
Bottel your essence just to keep a part of you for themselves.
Till the time came enought was enought.
You just dissapeared with out warning like a ship in the night.
A new day hade dawned for you my sweet ray of light.
the last word i heard from you in my dream was
i will come back for you, i still hear your words.
and hope in my heart stayed there.
like a stone it stayed unturned.
I couldnt look at anouther when all i hade was deep love for you.
I never meet anouther with the conneshion i feelt for you.
I feel you in my dreams you talk to me and hold me near.
The thought of even looking at anouther only brings me tears.
It just feels so wrong when what i feelt already feelt so right.
so much i wanted to shair with you my dreams my thoughts
and a cuddel warm and tight.
But now i only have memories and visits of you in dreams
You'll always stay closely tucked in my heart where i feel your warmth
and haunty me for all my days untill its my time
then we will meet again like you promised you would
come for me and we will walk in the wood.
walk in the oceane and play in the sand
both back togeather from which we booth stand
a spark of the devine gods leading hand
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To my beautiful twin i love you beond words can tell you good my sweet one as i need to sleep i have an eraly shift if i could buy you roses they would be red with one pure white i love white rose's as they repasent to me pure auncondishional love inwhich i feel for you.
good night sweet's
good night sweet's
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