Ride the wave

Been just going with the flow ride the wave as rach would say Crying when i need to and just letting it go best way to go, Ive been talking with my guides and the creator,
It was funny i was cutting up food for dinner, and i heard look at the bigger piture this person is not healthy for your and there not the one for you , how many times are you going to allowe them to come into your life take your energy mess you up emoshionaly then walk out again to anouther girl,
Look how many times they have done this reamber how many times they did this count how many times.
I thought shit that's alot, i didnt realise how many times i allowed this, they chose anouther over you.
Let them go there not the one for you, look at the bigger piture.
You need to let them go, let them live there life, it's there life there path they have chosen the person there with now they have to follow there path you need to follow yours its just a lesson.
And a lesson you need to stop look at your self worth.
I really made me stop its the slap in the face i needed i know this is my father.
Wow i just did not relise i let this person walk over me so many times thinking it was love.
Thats not love thats using someone for they own perpesses there an energy Vampire, no wounder they where making me sick.
I don't havre to do anything for this person any more i don't own them anything exspechely my heart 
I'm not setaling any more, wow i really do love myself.      

I'm just to tired to try any more Ive exceepted things as they are , I keep picking up a woman around him that is my hight short shoulder lenght hair aurban coloured with waves could have eyes simaler to my own shes simalar body style too but she's half his age 29, 30 maybe she loves him this is what he needs and i'm happy for them both.
Shes cottoned on.
I have to finally walk away from Twin hes not the right one for me some twins are not ment to be togeather i have to exceepted this and close the door once and forall.
My guides said Ill meet someone one day mediam built from Australia, my own country there will be something alittle diffrent about him to most men ive meet.
He will be Psyhic I keep picking up i could meet him at a book shop or a second hand book shop.
I'm seeing avrage hight with blonde hair i feel could be coastal. 
Because i see the ocean and waves has a love for water.
And Auquas and blues his aura will have this colour in it.
He will be quite, in ways he will remind me of my father. I also see a neck lace around his neck that looks like a cord with maybe a stone or crystal on it.
Hs energy is easy going in ways he will also remind me of Mel my friend from the shop.
Good at reading people this person will be better souted for me.
More open minded.... I still don't understand why my twin came into my life.
I keep thinking what for what was the reasion for anyway dosnt matter its all over now.
I whish him nothing but happyness.
​He chose his own path.... I'm just not part of it.     

I don't want to play the victum iver it is what it is and i'm not chasing him any more its not worth the pain to myself or his partner she deserves better she loves him he should be happy he finally found someone that loves him. He's very lucky im still trying to meet mine but now ive let god pick them for me maybe ill dream of them like i did with phillip.
I keep hearing they will unusual eyes, there colour will be diffrent im seeing green, blue and brown with spots like i have in my own eyes, they could be anouther start seed. 
If not im not worryed i have so much on my plate work my mother and loving me.
Ive never feelt so tired and so tired of trying, maybe ive just been strong for to long.
And just want to rest its tiring trying to be strong all the time.
But i know i'm strong ill get threw this its like weaning myself of this person once and for all it just was not ment to be never has been we will never meet face to face its just not meant to happen.
Ahhh well it could be worse lol lol lol.
I'm ready i jsut whish we never meet i know thats horribal but i really do, the heart ack this has brout me as been one of the worse, I don't hate them but i don't fell the same the love i feelt is starting to die.
Which it needs too. anyway thats life. 

Ive decided i want to look after myself better eat better walk more move more look after myself i need too i want more energy and feel better.
Anyways i better go got work tomorrow i didnt sleep well i cryed most of the night so i feel like shit lol lol lol today very tired.
But on a good note i love my new car its beautiful.